"Shattered Dreams...Shattered Hope: When it All Falls Apart"

by Dave

I had just graduated from college and, unsure what I would be doing next, I took the train to visit some people in the South before I had a job. Passing through Washington, DC, I remember thinking to myself that it would be neat to live in such a place. I had no idea at the time that that dream would become a reality. I was able to get a job in a store, but heard about a Christian service organization located in DC. I applied, got accepted, and made plans to move to the big city.

It didn't take much to love living there. I was just up the street from the White House and could see it every day. A favorite memory of mine was getting to sit right behind the President in Sunday school at church once. Coming from a semi rural place in upstate New York where the biggest excitement of the day was having an ambulance go by, it was amazing to me that I was now sitting behind the President. In my non-working hours, I spent a lot of time discovering...exploring...taking in the many museums...monuments...memorials, plus special events that the city had to offer.

The organization was like a Christian version of the Peace Corps. It gave people from all walks of life an opportunity to serve for 1, 2 or 3 years either stateside or overseas. I thought it was a great idea and a concept that was "dripping" with potential. The sky seemed like the limit...until it wasn't. A book I had read when I first went there was entitled, "Stop Treating Me Like God." It was written by a missionary who had worked in Africa, and the basic premise of his book was that just because one is a missionary etc. doesn't make a person immune from trouble and trials. The Lord used that book to help prepare me for what was to come.

***trigger warning***

In his book, he told a story of a fellow missionary that became so distraught that he would take his life in the bathroom. I remember being shocked that such could happen, but I had no idea what was around the corner for me. On a fateful day, one of our key staff members took his life in the building of our organization. Even now, the memories of that day come back like a fast-moving slideshow. Things began to unravel. The organization had initially supplied room and board, but that had stopped and I had to scramble to find a place to live and have food to eat. Fewer and fewer people were now working/serving and I often found myself alone in the big city. Many times I wondered if anyone cared, but God showed me He did.

One day I was walking downtown in the "Golden Triangle" area of "K" St. NW. I remember saying to the Lord that I needed a smile that day, but as I walked along I forgot my prayer. But, the Lord didn't. Later on, I was walking down Connecticut Ave. NW and I noticed that the police were closing the side streets. I knew that the Presidential motorcade would be passing by. I was all alone on that block and when the motorcade passed by, the President looked right at me and gave me a big smile and waved like we were long lost friends. That special memory is 'freeze framed" as I recall how God answered my prayer.

After a long, protracted struggle, the decision was made to close the doors of our place. I was devastated. For a long time I had asked "why THIS?", "why now?", "why me?" I began to see that the question I should be asking was, "why not me?" Someone had to do it, and the Lord gave me grace to walk out a very dark time. Finally, the last day came, and as I was trying to finalize loose ends for people, I found myself choking back tears all day. As I walked out of the building that evening, my world as I knew it had suddenly ended. A couple of days later my dad came down to get me and my stuff to go back home. As those familiar streets faded off into the distance, the tears again flowed. I had wanted so much to stay in DC, but God was saying "no." He saw the big picture, My dad would get ill and die not that many years later, and then my mom would die fairly recently. They had needed me, and that was His plan for the next chapter of my life - to help take care of my parents.

I'm grateful for a very unique experience in life few will ever have.

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About the Writer

Dave grew up in beautiful upstate New York and spent nearly 10 years in DC. Now he lives in South Carolina. He is another "your other brother" who believes in the power of encouragement to others (thanks, in part to his experiences) He has been to 49 states and seen the 50th.